@Keebo What are you doing here? This is the worst forum for you to try advertising on, so their's that. Also, their's not much chance of your content getting seen. Also, if people do see it, they're not going to buy it.
Ugh. Please don't just throw up questionable product promotions here. Try to be a person with genuine human interactions first, then where appropriate mention the things you are trying to sell.
Have you ever seen the movie "Idiocracy"? I'm trying to avoid that with my servers.